Tuesday, March 2, 2010

more on marriage and also some on courtship

ok im going to add some cause i don't what to come off the wrong way or anything....
ok so it's pretty clear that man and women have different God given roles, ephesians 5 is pretty clear Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her also 1 Corinthians 11 :3
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

11In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.
ok so it's important to understand that God made women totally equal to men in person hood, dignity , and worth no less important or valuable but what is key to understand is we are created equal but are different. we have different roles and are just different we are not the same any one should be able to see that. so these role bases on genesis man is to be the leader and initiator and head of the household and the spiritual leader of the house hold and the woman is to be the helper , and to complement, nourish and help there husbands. now that role is not less than that of the mans(remember created equal but are different) and it also illustrates the trinity and in the same way the father, son and holy spirit are equal and ONE they also perform different distant tasks also genesis 2: 18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." also the only other person assigned the role of the helper in the bible is the holy spirit and as many Godly men have told me they are nothing with out there wife so really don't get the idea that it's not an important role because it's very important . now for the mans role the leadership is done in love and not in a strict or harsh kinda of way nor would it ever be used to make the wife do something she doesn't wish to do . again i'm not married so i know i don't know everything but this is just what God has been teaching me about in the bible and also in books like boy meets girl which also talks about the different roles.n ow on to the initiator part , it is the man's role to initiate a relationship, to give girls a small picture of it it requires alot of prayer , faith, trust in God's soverginty, seeking after God ,keeping God as the focus in our lives, not getting preattached to anyone, treat all girls as sisters with absolute purity, becoming and striving to be a biblical man, and when we do become attracted to someone to test those feelings, hide them from that person, guard that person's and our hearts , and in God's timing if it clear that God wants us to seek a relationship with that person to ultimately see if that person is who God wants us to marry so then we go to that person's father or whoever is the leader over her and ask first his permission and then that person's permission and in the end it can all end in a NO but it's not like that's a bad thing cause i see it as answer prayer and in the end God will work out what his plan is and also God cares about the journey not just the destination. know that all ideally what someone is suppose to do and pretty much every relationship is different but it key to understand that the reason for all the work is because a woman is something of great value and worth and as a guy we have no right to simply ask for her heart with no commitment and it would also be wrong to take her from under the authority of her father and God (so don't have a whole lot of time to go into all this so listen to paul washer's sermon on dating to learn more ) but we work and fight in the mud and slay dragons while the woman is high on a throne in the safety of the castle because she is a princess, she is that highly valued and worthy of such protection and is that big of a prize. OK i hope i made some sense and can now get to the part that confused the most people most likely.... now i said that the spirit lead love that the husband is called to have can't really be matched by the wife , now it's hard to explain but now that it is something that has to be learn and is really given by God but the husband is called to love his wife and the way he is called to love her is different then the way the wife is called to love(joyfully submitting) now don't think that there's no love on the wife part but its different (it's hard to explain so bear with me) the movie fireproof perfectly exemplifies this , how the main character loved his wife and pursed his wife, with steadfast love in the same way Jesus loves the church, although his wife hated him and didn't respect him, but the main guy continued ( i'm i starting to make some sense now?) so i humbly submit that i believe there is a difference (and don't think when it comes to relationships that there doesn't have to be any interest on the girl's side, she ultimately has the final say to rather to start a courtship or not) so feel free to comment and i hope i'm making some sense, i would love to hear from some married couples on what they think about this and any tips you have or stuff you've learned also my sister's in Christ what do you think about it and hopeful you got to see a brief glimpse of some of the stuff as guys we go through and deal with wich may be different then what you go through often and i pray that i didn't come across in any way that belittled or devalued how valuable and amazing Godly women so i pray that God may use this note a encouragement to someone and that God may get all the glory and i'll end with a proverb 31 :30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

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