C H Spurgeon

C H Spurgeon something to say about it

"What a golden example Christ gives to his disciples! Few masters could venture to say, "If you would practise my teaching, imitate my life;" but as the life of Jesus is the exact transcript of perfect virtue, he can point to himself as the paragon of holiness, as well as the teacher of it. The Christian should take nothing short of Christ for his model. Under no circumstances ought we to be content unless we reflect the grace which was in him. As a husband, the Christian is to look upon the portrait of Christ Jesus, and he is to paint according to that copy. The true Christian is to be such a husband as Christ was to his church. The love of a husband is special. The Lord Jesus cherishes for the church a peculiar affection, which is set upon her above the rest of mankind: "I pray for them, I pray not for the world." The elect church is the favourite of heaven, the treasure of Christ, the crown of his head, the bracelet of his arm, the breastplate of his heart, the very centre and core of his love. A husband should love his wife with a constant love, for thus Jesus loves his church. He does not vary in his affection. He may change in his display of affection, but the affection itself is still the same. A husband should love his wife with an enduring love, for nothing "shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." A true husband loves his wife with a hearty love, fervent and intense. It is not mere lip-service. Ah! beloved, what more could Christ have done in proof of his love than he has done? Jesus has a delighted love towards his spouse: He prizes her affection, and delights in her with sweet complacence. Believer, you wonder at Jesus' love; you admire it-are you imitating it? In your domestic relationships is the rule and measure of your love-"even as Christ loved the church?"

more on marriage and also some on courtship

ok im going to add some cause i don't what to come off the wrong way or anything....

ok so it's pretty clear that man and women have different God given roles, ephesians 5 is pretty clear Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her also 1 Corinthians 11 :3

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

11In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

ok so it's important to understand that God made women totally equal to men in person hood, dignity , and worth no less important or valuable but what is key to understand is we are created equal but are different. we have different roles and are just different we are not the same any one should be able to see that. so these role bases on genesis man is to be the leader and initiator and head of the household and the spiritual leader of the house hold and the woman is to be the helper , and to complement, nourish and help there husbands. now that role is not less than that of the mans(remember created equal but are different) and it also illustrates the trinity and in the same way the father, son and holy spirit are equal and ONE they also perform different distant tasks also genesis 2: 18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." also the only other person assigned the role of the helper in the bible is the holy spirit and as many Godly men have told me they are nothing with out there wife so really don't get the idea that it's not an important role because it's very important . now for the mans role the leadership is done in love and not in a strict or harsh kinda of way nor would it ever be used to make the wife do something she doesn't wish to do . again i'm not married so i know i don't know everything but this is just what God has been teaching me about in the bible and also in books like boy meets girl which also talks about the different roles.n ow on to the initiator part , it is the man's role to initiate a relationship, to give girls a small picture of it it requires alot of prayer , faith, trust in God's soverginty, seeking after God ,keeping God as the focus in our lives, not getting preattached to anyone, treat all girls as sisters with absolute purity, becoming and striving to be a biblical man, and when we do become attracted to someone to test those feelings, hide them from that person, guard that person's and our hearts , and in God's timing if it clear that God wants us to seek a relationship with that person to ultimately see if that person is who God wants us to marry so then we go to that person's father or whoever is the leader over her and ask first his permission and then that person's permission and in the end it can all end in a NO but it's not like that's a bad thing cause i see it as answer prayer and in the end God will work out what his plan is and also God cares about the journey not just the destination. know that all ideally what someone is suppose to do and pretty much every relationship is different but it key to understand that the reason for all the work is because a woman is something of great value and worth and as a guy we have no right to simply ask for her heart with no commitment and it would also be wrong to take her from under the authority of her father and God (so don't have a whole lot of time to go into all this so listen to paul washer's sermon on dating to learn more ) but we work and fight in the mud and slay dragons while the woman is high on a throne in the safety of the castle because she is a princess, she is that highly valued and worthy of such protection and is that big of a prize. OK i hope i made some sense and can now get to the part that confused the most people most likely.... now i said that the spirit lead love that the husband is called to have can't really be matched by the wife , now it's hard to explain but now that it is something that has to be learn and is really given by God but the husband is called to love his wife and the way he is called to love her is different then the way the wife is called to love(joyfully submitting) now don't think that there's no love on the wife part but its different (it's hard to explain so bear with me) the movie fireproof perfectly exemplifies this , how the main character loved his wife and pursed his wife, with steadfast love in the same way Jesus loves the church, although his wife hated him and didn't respect him, but the main guy continued ( i'm i starting to make some sense now?) so i humbly submit that i believe there is a difference (and don't think when it comes to relationships that there doesn't have to be any interest on the girl's side, she ultimately has the final say to rather to start a courtship or not) so feel free to comment and i hope i'm making some sense, i would love to hear from some married couples on what they think about this and any tips you have or stuff you've learned also my sister's in Christ what do you think about it and hopeful you got to see a brief glimpse of some of the stuff as guys we go through and deal with wich may be different then what you go through often and i pray that i didn't come across in any way that belittled or devalued how valuable and amazing Godly women so i pray that God may use this note a encouragement to someone and that God may get all the glory and i'll end with a proverb 31 :30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

unity in community

so i wrote a rap cause i had nothing better to do so i'll share it

unity in community
by MC guppy truth dog blimp

(verse 1)

unity of community
unity of community
if you don----'t knows what i means----
then you must be have-in a lot of enemies

(chorus)
so as a believer yo
say what?!
as a believer we must be have-in community

(repeat chorus)

(verse 2)
so don't you see without community
you don't never got no unity
what !? what!?
it like facebook
what!? what!?
so get to camp and jump off that bunk
cause there be no such thing as luck
so come , get with unity so we canbe spellin
come-unity
Word!

(chorus)

love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

^{so i had this really cool realization about something so i'm going to try to share it}

Hosea 2

²"Plead with your mother, plead—

for she is not my wife,
and I am not her husband—
that she put away her whoring from her face,
and her adultery from between her breasts;
³lest I strip her naked
and make her as in the day she was born,
and make her like a wilderness,
and make her like a parched land,
and kill her with thirst.
⁴ Upon her children also I will have no mercy,
because they are children of whoredom.
⁵For their mother has played the whore;
she who conceived them has acted shamefully.
For she said, 'I will go after my lovers,
who give me my bread and my water,
my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.'
⁶Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns,
and I will build a wall against her,
so that she cannot find her paths.
⁷She shall pursue her lovers
but not overtake them,
and she shall seek them
but shall not find them.
Then she shall say,
'I will go and return to my first husband,
for it was better for me then than now.'
⁸And she did not know
that it was I who gave her
the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and who lavished on her silver and gold,
which they used for Baal.
⁹Therefore I will take back
my grain in its time,
and my wine in its season,
and I will take away my wool and my flax,
which were to cover her nakedness.
¹⁰Now I will uncover her lewdness
in the sight of her lovers,
and no one shall rescue her out of my hand.
¹¹ And I will put an end to all her mirth,
her feasts, her new moons, her Sabbaths,
and all her appointed feasts.
¹²And I will lay waste her vines and her fig trees,
of which she said,
'These are my wages,
which my lovers have given me.'
I will make them a forest,
and the beasts of the field shall devour them.
¹³And I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals
when she burned offerings to them
and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry,
and went after her lovers
and forgot me, declares the LORD.

¹⁴"Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

¹⁶"And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.' ¹⁷For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. ¹⁸And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. ¹⁹And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.²⁰ I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.
²¹"And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD,
I will answer the heavens,
and they shall answer the earth,
²²and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and they shall answer Jezreel,

²³and I will sow her for myself in the land.
And I will have mercy on No Mercy,
and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people';
and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

so it's important to note that Hosea is talking about Israel unfaithfulness and also about the bride of Christ. the bride of Christ isthe church , made up of all of God's elect who he choose before the foundation of the world and given to his son. marriage was ordain by God and really illuminates and shines some light on salvation and regeneration , but also should note i'm coming from a husband's point of view cause that's my role

^{ephesians 5:22 "}Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

so the big realization for me was that the bride of Christ was a whore, we were at one time unfaithful, haters of God and turned to many lovers ( idols/false gods)

^{titus 3:3"}At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another."

romans 5"⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.

so in marriages back in that time the father would go out and pick out a wife for his son( God has done the same thing john 6:⁷All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. ³⁸For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. ³⁹And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. ⁴⁰For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.") then the two would remain pure and set aside for each other then when the women was of age the bridegroom would go to the bride house and take her to his house and they would be married and have a big wedding party, now the bible also illustrates that stuff but don't have time to go into it now and not my main focus. my main focus is that we did not remain pure and faith full to our bridegroom, we are whores as God puts it, but God did something amazing

titus 3: ³At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. ⁴But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, ⁵he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, ⁶whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

ezekile 36:24 " 'For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. ²⁵ I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. ²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. ²⁸ You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. ²⁹ I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and make it plentiful and will not bring famine upon you. ³⁰ I will increase the fruit of the trees and the crops of the field, so that you will no longer suffer disgrace among the nations because of famine. ³¹ Then you will remember your evil ways and wicked deeds, and you will loathe yourselves for your sins and detestable practices. ³² I want you to know that I am not doing this for your sake, declares the Sovereign LORD. Be ashamed and disgraced for your conduct, O house of Israel!" and

hosa 2:14"Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
andspeak tenderly to her.
¹⁵And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

¹⁶"And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.' ¹⁷For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. ¹⁸And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. ¹⁹And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.²⁰ I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.

is that not truly amazing GOOD NEWS that ^{romans 5:8}But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." isn't that truly amazing and all some and really what love is and now something that hit me even harder is that in that exact same way i am suppose to love my wife" ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word," now incase you didn't know marriage and relationships are a Sanctification process , i believe there is a one, not the one who is perfect and will complete my life, but the one who is perfectly flawed in all the areas i am strong in and strong in all the areas i'm weak in and that God in his perfect plan wants us to be to together for his glory and that we may be held accountable and be make known each others sin and areas where we fall sort. but also it's the husband who is to love his wife, the wife has to be taught to love her husband (titus 2) something i've come to see is that for that one person person there is when you get down to it past all the miss leading feelings from the heart a true unconditional spirit lead love that cannot be explained for and that i don't think the woman could ever match or at least with out much time and help so i hope i made some sense and feel free to comment (i would love to hear from some of my sister's their view point of this)